Most enriching relationships are prone to frustration through a breakdown in communication, emotional estrangement, or unresolved conflicts. Such relationships require therapy as the starting point to heal, especially if the approach to the therapy is the right fit. Emotion Focused Therapy for Couples, commonly known as EFT, is a highly effective therapeutic approach for relationship issues.
If you have ever asked yourself, “What is emotionally focused couples therapy, anyway? And how might it help?”, this blog is for you.
What is Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy?
Basically, Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy is developed in order to help couples gain insight and regulate how they emotionally behave and interact with each other in their relationship. The model was developed by Dr. Sue Johnson in the 1980’s. Its focus is more on the improvement of the emotional connection between partners with the primary goal of securing attachment.
Unlike other forms of communication skills or problem-solving techniques, this therapy continues to reach the level of emotional patterns. This makes it possible for the couple to recognize each person’s emotional triggers and responses, thus bringing the reunion of the two partners to a more empathetic level.
If you need more assistance on what is Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy is, talk to experts at Town Psychological Services. Call 905-616-1719 or do a quick web search of “emotion-focused therapist near me” to connect with us.
Why is Emotion-Focused Therapy Effective?
Many couples wonder why their traditional therapy did not last long. This is often because most issues between partners arise from unmet emotional needs. EFT identifies and deals with such needs heads-on by helping the partners understand what’s happening and why it’s happening in the emotional spectrum.
For instance, a couple may disagree over something like the distribution of domestic chores. The actual problem may be a feeling of not being supported or not being appreciated enough to even provoke a strong emotional reaction. Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) can help couples resolve the root cause of their miscommunications by exploring deeper emotional needs.
What are Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) Techniques
We have covered the basics of what Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy is and now let’s go through some of the techniques that make it so effective.
- Understanding Emotional Patterns: They will help you recognize the patterns or cycles of negative emotions that keep you and your partner stuck together, like, for example, when one of you feels emotionally criticized, the other emotionally withdraws and gives the other an even deeper sense of disconnection.
- Reframing of the Problem: One of the emotion-focused therapy techniques is to nudge couples to view their issues not as the problem of the other partner but as a mutual problem that emanates from unsatisfied emotional needs. This reframing technique allows partners to stop accusing each other and, instead, works towards creating a solution to the emotional disconnection.
- Emotional Availability: The other technique includes the process of making partners emotionally accessible to each other. This means opening up one’s heart and making space for the partner to open up as well. For instance, rather than disengaging and shutting down while arguing, the fear of rejection would decrease through understanding and empathy between the partners.
- Empathetic Listening: EFT places a high value on empathic listening. Your therapist will then instruct you to listen to your partner’s emotional experiences without judgment or defensiveness. It forms a stronger bond and helps build trust.
How Does EFT Therapy for Couples Work?
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for couples usually follows three stages:
- De-escalation: This is the first step, which explains that the therapeutic assistance provided to the couples describes their negative emotional patterns, identifying and understanding them. They realize how they get stuck in an argument that leaves them feeling disconnected; so, de-escalation and a stable emotional environment form the focal point here.
- Restructuring of the Bond: During the second stage, the therapist engages each partner to identify and articulate deeper emotional needs and vulnerabilities. Breakthroughs often occur since partners start being perceived as people with emotional needs who want to meet each other through a middle path, as opposed to adversaries.
- Consolidation: It was also the final stage where couples learn how to continue giving each other emotional support and avoid falling into old patterns again.
Call 905-616-1719 to book an appointment for EFT Therapy for Couples at Town Psychological Services.
Is Emotionally Focused Therapy Right for Me?
Often, couples seeking an emotion-focused therapist near me are met at a crossroad. You may be looking at years of unresolved conflict or simply just beginning to feel emotionally disconnected.
Sometimes, EFT becomes an incredibly powerful way forward. It’s especially great for couples who want to deepen their emotional connection, repair trust, or recover from hurt on a major level—often the result of infidelity.
Let’s take the case of a couple married for five years. With time, Sarah and John tend to drift emotionally. Most often, John feels that Sarah is way too critical, while at other times, Sarah feels that John is emotionally unavailable.
In their therapy sessions with an EFT therapist, they learned that John’s withdrawal was a defense against the experience of rejection. In Sarah’s case, criticism stemmed from her fear of being left unloved.
Using these emotion-focused therapy techniques, they learned how to vent those fears publicly and listen to each other instead of becoming defensive. This gradually helped John and Sarah get back in touch emotionally and build their relationship further.
Find an Emotion-Focused Therapist in Your Area
You can find an EFT therapist near me by searching for therapists who practice EFT. Often, the therapists who are trained in EFT are available to see you online as well as in person. The key is to make sure the therapist has experience doing couples Emotion-Focused Therapy.
Closing thought
Therefore, emotionally focused couples therapy can be very effective when it comes to the reconnecting of couples on an emotionally deep level. Considering the emotional patterns of a couple, including their needs and responses, will help them to heal from old hurts and go on to build a much stronger, more secure relationship in the future, from an EFT perspective.
So, when you feel stuck with your partner, consider doing some research about EFT. It might just be the key to transforming your emotional connection with your partner.
Emotion focused therapy for couples can help save a strained relationship. Follow our blog to learn about emotion focused therapy techniques.